Millions of people live a single life, not by choice necessarily, but because they can't find a mate that's right for them. I know from my own past experience that being single can be difficult. For example, I used to feel depressed when I stayed home by myself on a Friday or Saturday night, and I felt alone when I didn't have a partner to bring to the party or to a friend's wedding. I realized I needed to make some changes in my life in order to be happy. I explored my wants, needs, and desires and set some goals that allowed me to live a happy life as a single person. Here are some of the steps I took:
Love yourself. Before you can have a loving relationship with another person, you need to establish a loving relationship with yourself. Begin by following the steps outlined in my chapter on self-esteem. Make sure you eat good foods, get enough sleep, exercise, and have a positive attitude toward yourself. Every day, tell yourself, "I'm the best, and I deserve only the best." This self-love will make you feel good about yourself and the world around you.
Have fun with the people you know. You may be single, but you're not alone. Instead of staying home on Friday or Saturday night, make the effort to call and schedule time with friends and family. Every week make a date with a different friend. You can go to concerts, movies, restaurants, parties, and any other fun activity you would ordinarily do on a date. You may meet other people through your friends who further expand your circle of friends. Or you may even meet a potential partner on one of your outings.
Get a pet. A pet such as a dog, cat or bird can help keep you company when your home alone. Research in pet ownership has shown there is a dramatic reduction in feelings of loneliness in the owner. Pets are great because you can cuddle and talk with them. In return they can give you love back by communicating and showing you affection in their own way.
Get in touch with your spiritual side. Being spiritual means different things to different people. For many it's going to MOSQUE and connecting with God. For others it's doing yoga or practicing meditation. Whatever your preferences, your spirit is a central part of who you are, so don't neglect it. As long as the practice is a healthy one, it can make a positive difference in your life. Getting in touch with your spiritual side will also invite happier, more fulfilling relationships with other people.
Keep a journal. Don't stuff your feelings about being alone. Every day or two, give yourself a half an hour to let your feelings out. Say whatever you want to say in your journal. Don't even worry about sentence structure, spelling, or making sense. Just write down whatever comes to mind. Then, for the rest of your life, focus on other interests. Every now and then, go back and read your journal. You may be pleased to discover that you've gradually become more comfortable and happier with being single. The funny thing is, once you feel content with the single life, you often end up meeting someone. As many others and I have found, "Love comes when you least expect it."
If you long for a partner, being single can seem like a dark hole, and these steps can help you find your way out. Explore your wants, needs, and desires to see what would help you most. Just remember that you're not alone.
A women is like a tea bag, you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water
